"Maybes"

Today I was having a look on the posts from exactly a year ago here on my blog, and it was interesting to see how excited I was to go back to Brazil. I really couldn’t wait, and was counting the days and hours for it. But now, this year, it’s being different. Going back of course is still something exciting and cool, but, I dunno, I’m not seeing my self THAT desperate to go as I was a year ago, and I can’t explain me why. Of course I wanna go! Of course I wanna see my friends, my family, Junia, my house, my room, my bed, my car, my “spots”, and every thing else again! But... Yeah, I dunno... Shit! I really don’t know!! Grrrrr! Hehehe...
A year ago I went to Qantas much earlier than I went this year to book the trip, and from the moment I did it, I started to plan, and think a lot about. But this time I booked it a few weeks ago, and, yeah, "wow", "how cool", hehehehehe, shit... :/
Maybe cos the world is definitely getting smaller to me, and a trip like that is like going to Katoomba, or Brisbane, or any other place close Sydney. The hours inside an airplane really don’t bother me anymore, and, as long it has those cool individual screens with heaps of movies, documentaries, and stuff to distract me, I can keep travelling as much it’s necessary.
Maybe because last year was the (great) first time!
Maybe because I saw my family a few months ago...
Maybe because New Zealand is not a new place to visit anymore...
Maybe because my feelings about people that I left behind in Brazil are much more clear to me, and I know what’s going to happen about it, which makes me not very curious to get there.
Maybe because my life (my mind) this year is more concentrated and stuck than ever here in Australia, and all the goals that I have decided to achieve here make me feel ensured that here is definitely where I wanna stay.
Maybe just travelling to the Moon would really make me feel excited... Derrrr! :P
...Ah well, whatever! Lots of "maybes", but I'm really not sure why I'm considering this trip as any other normal one. FOR SURE a psychologist would be very useful to me now.